Adnerb the Movie Nerd

Movie reviews from a middle school teacher's perspective

Fear of Clowns

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We all have them. That one movie that is so terrible, we have no idea why we watched it. Not only that, but we have seen it more than once! I am going to talk about one of mine, a movie that is so bad, I think you should see it! “Fear of Clowns” was made in 2004 right here in Maryland, in the middle of Hurricane Isabel. The auditions were held in a hotel in Glen Burnie, and many scenes were shot there, in Baltimore or in the surrounding areas. Kevin Kangas is the prime mover in the making of this movie, a guy who definitely was channeling Ed Wood. Kangas wrote, directed and has a cameo in this extravanganza. The back story is more interesting than the film itself. Kangas had such a small budget that he often didn’t have permits or permissions to film in his chosen locales. In one case, he had permission to film in a yard, but liked the house better a few doors down. So while the inhabitants were at work, Kangas set up the whole scene and got it filmed before they ever knew what happened. In another case, while filming at a mall (possibly the Columbia Mall) Kangas and his crew had to dodge the police. If you look carefully, you might recognize some of the local settings. Because of the low budget, the special effects are crude, obvious and laughable; but that is what makes this movie so much fun. It’s amazing what creative short cuts and trade-offs you have to make to come up with any effects when your budget is practicaly nil, and computer graphics are not even in the realm of possiblities (even ones as poor in the equally awful “Birdemic”). The plot doesn’t really matter, something to do with an artist who has coulrophobia (fear of you-know-what) who is stalked by a murderous funny man. If you decide to watch, good luck finding it showing anywhere, even though for some reason, the equally awful “Fear of Clowns II” is offered on Prime. While you are at it though, Prime also offers “Making of The Fear of Clowns” though I hear Pennywise walked out half way through. There you go, my take on a terrible movie that I can’t resist watching. What’s yours?

Casablanca

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Some movies stay with you for your entire life. It might be a movie that resonates with you and something happening in your life. It could be a movie that helps you get through a tough time, or one that brings you unbridled joy, or one that was so intriguing you are still thinking about it. One of my favorites, one that I’ve seen too many times to possibly count, is the Academy Award Best Picture of 1943 – “Casablanca.” I know what you are thinking! How can you enjoy a movie made before you were born during the height of WWII, not to mention in black and white? Well, believe me, it isn’t a classic for no reason. “Casablanca” on the surface is the story of cynical American Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) who for reasons never explained (who cares?) owns a nightclub in Nazi occupied Casablanca. The plot, a trifle to hang the emotions on, involves letters of passage that will allow two people to leave Casablanca for Portugal, and freedom. Those people are Ilsa, love of his life, whom he thought jilted him (think again), now married to the heroic Victor Laslo, a key Resistance fighter. The upshot of this romantic, exciting movie is that Rick and Ilsa re-discover, yet then unselfishly renounce their love, as a contribution to the greater cause of defeating the Nazis. This is just the tip of the iceberg though. The supporting cast is a virtual who’s who of classic old actors. And that dialogue! Heard the expression “round up the usual suspects?” Chief of Police Louis Reynard (Claude Rains) from this movie! How about “Play it again, Sam?” (From this movie but not phrased exactly that way “Play it, Sam. You played it for her, you can play it for me.” Play what? Why just superbly memorable “As Time Goes By!”). How about “Here’s Looking at you, Kid?” or “we’ll always have Paris.” Roger Ebert, the late great reviewer, had this to say about the opening, “The opening scenes dance with comedy; the dialogue combines the cynical with the weary; wisecracks with epigrams. We see that Rick moves easily in a corrupt world. “What is your nationality?” the Nazi officer Strasser asks him, and he replies, “I’m a drunkard.” His personal code: “I stick my neck out for nobody.” This a movie that will entertain you without violence (people are shot, but you never see the blood) or sex (except for some genteely romantic shananigans) or being ultimately pessimistic. This is, in the final moment, an optimistic movie that lets us know that we little people, whether fighting Nazis or Covid-19, will prevail when all is said and done. As Rick and Louis fade into the mists of legend, Rick utters the classic “Louis, I think this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

I would love to hear about your favorite movie. Come on, you are sitting around at home right now any way, correct? Why not drop us a line or too?

Emma

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Wow! This is one gorgeous movie! I couldn’t take my eyes off of the amazing costumes, lush scenery, and don’t even get me started on the unending parade of desserts. Oh to be living in the Regency Era of 1815 Britian! Jane Austin’s ‘Emma’ is lavishly filmed by director Autumn de Wilde. For those of you unfamiliar with the story (read people!),Emma (Ana Taylor-Joy) is a spoiled, extremely rich young lady who meddles and interferes with everyone’s business. Through misunderstandings and down right stupidity, Emma almost ruins the lives of several people, while thinking she is doing them a favor. Her childhood friend, George Knightly (Johnny Flynn) is constantly dressing her down for her bone-headed decisions, and seems to be the only one with the guts to stand up to her. I loved Emma’s hypochondriac father, played with a wonderfully wry approach by Bill Nighy, and the always delightful Miranda Hart as Miss Bates. The downside to this movie for some of you will be that it takes its time. But I think it moves slowly so that you can savor the eye-popping surroundings. They did a tremendous job setting the costumes, homes,landscape, and environment. If you love Jane Austin books/movies, you are going to enjoy this movie immensely.

The Invisible Man

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Reading about this movie, I was sure it would be a so-so “B” movie, just entertaining enough to pass a sleepy February Leap Day.  I was kind of pleasantly surprised, I must admit.  The movie opens with Cecilia’s (Elisabeth Moss) elaborate escape from her abusive, brillant and and very wealthy husband – a genius with optics. She hides out with a friend and his daughter, afraid to even leave the house.  A few months later he commits suicide and leaves his millions to Cecilia.  There is a condition though; she must not commit a crime or be found mentally incompetent.  The movie becomes down right creepy from there.  I am not spoiling anything, I think, that can’t be seen in the trailers.  It seems that Cecilia is being haunted by something, or someone, who has been getting into her mind and apparently into her house.  What makes this movie stand out from this usual genre is the performance of Elizabeth Moss.  She is riveting as the abused woman whom no one believes, even her own sister.  The woman who has an inner strength she discovers as she faces the mysterious events going on around her. If you like suspense that verges on horror, I think you will enjoy “The Invisible Man.”

Call of the Wild

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Finally!  A modern remake of one of the beloved novels from my childhood.  “Call of the Wild” is the story of Buck, an exuberant family pet, part St. Bernard and part Scottish Shepherd.  Anyway you look at it, he is a big, powerful dog.  Buck is dognapped and shipped up north to the Klondike where big dogs are needed to pull the sleds of the would-be gold miners in the Goldrush of the 1890’s.  In this harsh climate he  meets a series of masters, some kind, some not so kind.  One of those masters is Harrison Ford playing John Thornton, Buck’s last and the most compassionate of his owers.  If you have never read the book, I think you will find this movie satisfying and even inspirational.  If you are an aficiando of the book, you will find it a little less so, but still a solid movie.  I am confused, though, as to why one of the most powerful scenes in the book was completely left out of the movie.  In that scene, to help John Thornton win a bet, Buck breaks a frozen sled free from ice and pulls the load of 1000 pounds of flour 100 yards.  However, not in the movie! The movie also glosses over some of the harsh treatment Buck gets, which really makes you relate to what he goes through, but shows enough for us to get the idea.  The movie is also marred by some pretty noticable continuity errors.  Where does John Thornton get the canoe?  Why is he going on a long journey with no supplies in his canoe  only to have them magically appear when the canoe goes around a corner?  Where did the tent magically come from?  My biggest quibble is with the CGI Buck though.  He comes across as bigger than life.  It is hard to feel for his suffering when he is a big, powerful dog who could easily best most men he come in contact with.  The book also ends a little differently than the book which has some Native-American Yeehats massacre John Thronton.  Even with these few misfires, the setting is spot-on and Harrison Ford’s narration and acting makes this a worthy, if flawed, adaptation.