Adnerb the Movie Nerd

Movie reviews from a middle school teacher's perspective

Long Shot

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The premise for this romcom sounds a little preposterous to say the least.  Charlize Theron plays a beautiful and very popular Secretary of State, Charlotte Field, for a president (Bob Odenkirk) who was elected because of his popularity on televison (sound familiar?)  Odenkirk’s character decides not to run for reelection, leaving the door wide open for her to run and become the first woman president.  Along comes Fred Flarsky, played by Seth Rogen.  He is a struggling journalist for a failing newspaper that has just been bought out by a Rupert Murdoch-esque sleaze.  He is considered something of a nerdy pest, but believes strongly in free and honest journalism, so he quits the paper rather than sell out. An old friend, Lance (O’Shea Jackson Jr)  tries to help him out and cheer him up. Fred resists until Lance tells him they will be going to an event where Boyz II Men are going to perform.  Charlotte is also going to be there, and It turns out the two were childhood friends, and Fred has had a crush on her since she babysat for him.  They meet at the event and reconnect after an embarrassing mishap (Fred ends up being an Internet sensation).  I am spoiling nothing by telling you that this is the most unlikely on screen pairing since Esmerelda and Quasimodo.  However, there is an unlikely, but likeable, chemistry between the two – and it is fun watching them and their compatriots on their political path.   Long Shot offers both romance and humor.  In a surprise part, look for Andy Serkis.  I won’t tell you which role this acting chameleon plays but see if you recognize him.  All in all, the movie demonstrates that the romantic comedy might not be dead after all.

Avengers: Endgame

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Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!  After more than ten years, the Marvel Universe has come to a satisfying, poignant, heartrending and surprisingly hopeful ending.  In the previous movie, Thanos used the Infinity Stones and an iconic finger snap to destroy 1/2 of the universe, including many of the Marvel characters we have met and grown fond of over the years, including Iron Man, the first hero featured in this series.  The remaining Avengers are living a hopeless and bleak future.  They are still mourning their lost colleagues and can not seem to get out of their sense of failure, and break the ennui that has settled like a fog over the Earth.  Iron Man is on the verge of dying in space, looking broken and emaciated.  A bright, bright light shines in on him… What is it?  I’m not going to say to give away too much – I am no spoiler, but it’s not hard to figure something’s gotta change.  Let’s just say that Ant Man returns and has a plan.  The action moves to the remaining Avengers with a new sense of purpose and on a mission to go back in time and recover the Infinity Stones, and perhaps, use them to bring back their fallen comrades.  We all know it can’t be that simple.  Through it all, we get to see all of our favorite heroes, some more than others, but at one time or another, they are all here!  My favorite character has got to be Thor, his role in the story is hilarious to say the least.  It is hard to say much more.  First of all, there’s just too much going on!  And second, as I said, I’m not going to spoil this one! Not everyone is going to be happy with the movie.  After all, it has been hyped for the last ten years.  As to the end credits- there is no reason to stay to the end as there is no new movie to promote.  Or is there?  There is no scene at the end but if you stay, you will hear a sound.  Is the sound (no spoilers, sorry) a homage to the beginning of the Avengers or a harbinger of what is to come?  Anyway, ignore the giant plot holes, perhaps bring a kleenex or two, and enjoy the three hour ride.

Shazam!

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I am always a little suspicious about a  movie that feels the need to add an exclamation point to its title.  That usually screams ‘we didn’t make a very good movie and we hope this exclamation mark will make you ignore the buzz and see it anyway.’  Well, I am  not exactly right, nor am I exactly wrong.  This is after all a DC Universe movie, and we all know they just aren’t as good (with few exceptions) as Marvel movies.  This one wasn’t bad though.  In fact, if you have kids, this is a decent super hero movie to get their nerdy juices flowing.  Shazam is an ancient wizard (Djimon Hounsou) who transfers his super powers to fourteen year old Billy Batson.  Unfortunately, it’s a desparation move, as he is dying, and just can’t find a better candidate.  Billy is nowhere prepared enough to fill a super hero role!  Equally unfortunate, Shazam doesn’t have time to tell Billy what kind of powers he has or even how to use them.  Billy pretty much accidentally discovers that whenever he says the word ‘Shazam,’ he turns into an adult ( Zachary Levi) , buff, version of himself, while still retaining his teen age mindset.  Billy’s foster brother, Freddie, becomes his enthusiastic sidekick.  A lot of the heart and humor has to do with Shazam trying to figure out his powers – whether he is bullet proof (he is) or has invisibility (he doesn’t) and so on. Of course, there is an evil villian (Mark  Strong),  controlled by the evil spirits of the Seven Deadly Sins, out to destroy the world and only Shazam can stop him.  Compared to some of the other super hero movies (most notably Hell Boy), the violence is comparartively tame.  There is also a strong message about family, and another that will resonate with many kids.  Billy and many of his friends are the victims of bullies.  Even the main villan was bullied as a child.  The positive message is a little obvious at the end, but who cares?  All in all this is a sweet super hero movie that you can take your whole family to see.

Hellboy

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“Hellboy” was two hours of my life I will never get back!  If you relish poor acting, largely terrible writing and an incomprehensible, silly plot, by all means go take a look.  Marvel has set a pretty high standard for super hero movies and “Hellboy” falls way short with this effort -off the cliff short.  Here is the plot in a nutshell, if you could call it a plot. Long, long time ago, in a ridiculously and unnecessarily convoluted and invented mythic lore, the Blood Queen Nimue (Milla Jovovich) is ready to take over the world with her demon army.  King Arthur and Merlin, placed in the 6th Century for some reason, foil her scheme, using Excalibur.  The king has her body cut up into seven pieces, to be carried to seven far points of the kingdom and hidden “forever.”  He buries the still animated head himself.  Jump forward to now. Hellboy (David Harbour)  is sent by his “dad” ( Ian McShane) to battle three giants who are destroying the English countryside. Once he accomplishes this, in what is really a clumsy and overblown and gory manner, he jumps into the problem created by Nimue’s chief minion who is suddenly running about finding all her body bits so that he can help resurrect her.  How does this creature know where they are?  Magic?  Where did he come from? What activated him? Who knows?  Once she is resurrected though, she apparently wants to marry Hellboy and use him to help her bring about the end of the world. You see, Hellboy has some royal blood (don’t ask) which means that he is the only person who can wield Excaliber. When she marries him, they, with the sword, will rule the world?  Confused yet?  It only gets worse.  It’s so intricate,, it beggars summarization.  He finds this all out when he encounters Merlin, who has been imprisoned in an underground crypt for all this time.  He reveals Arthur’s great sword to Hellboy, who won’t take it, and Merlin crumbles away.  Back to Hellboy uniting with “Dad” and some bad creature specialist and animorphing cheetah (Daniel Dae Kim, who should have stayed “Lost.”) and Alice (Sasha Lane) of Wonderland inspiration, but an inspriration that is mighty tenuous.  This Alice is a psychic who vomits dead apparitions.  Now add a diaper wearing pig, Nazis, and of course, Baba Yaga to the mix.  Sounds confusing? Yes, try following it.  It’s a jumble, jumps all over, and doesn’t flow well.  The plot holes are many. The dialogue is mediocre – a few laughs, but mostly trite, unimaginative drivel, and lame humor that falls like a dead cinder in a grate.  If you really need to see humans torn apart in every conceivable, gory way though, you will have found the movie for you.  According to the end scene in the middle of the credits (DC Universe aping the MCU, no originality there), there is a sequel planned.  Why?

GAME OF THRONES

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Winter is coming and many of us are super-excited for this final season.  There is no review here.  I am going to throw out a few theories about what is going to happen.  I would love to hear from  you as far as what you think.  Leave a message in the comments and let me know what you think.

  1.  One of the things that I think will happen this season is that we will see Jon Snow ride a dragon.  Those dragons definitely accepted him and I am sure he is going to ride, and guide one of them.
  2.   I think Arya Stark is going to use Littlefinger’s face to get close to Cersei and kill her.
  3.   I have a feeling that Gendry (The last Baratheon) might end up with Sansa and the two of them may rule together.
  4.  Bran is really the Night King.  i can’t explain how that would work or how it is possible, just a feeling.
  5.   Sam is going to become the hand of the King (or queen)
  6.  Jaimie might kill the Night King because he is the “king slayer.”
  7.  Tyrion might be a Targaryen – one clue is the fact that the dragons do not seem to hate him.
  8.   Ser Davos Seaworth  and Jorah Mormont will survive or else!!

VALOR MORGHULIS