Adnerb the Movie Nerd

Movie reviews from a middle school teacher's perspective

Black Adam

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For anyone out there listening, this will be my last weekly review for awhile.  I am still seeing a movie at a theatre every Saturday and have seen some really great movies.  Reviews can not exist in a vacuum though, and I am not sure my little missives are being read by anyone.  This is not to say that I will completely give up movie reviews, but they will not be coming out weekly.  That being said – here we go!!

Black Adam is a DC movie that I found rather meh.  I am a fan of The Rock, especially when he is in comedies like “The Jungle Cruise” or “Jumanji”.  I thought it might be fun to see him as a superhero, but this movie really wasn’t much fun at all.  It all starts out in ancient Kahndaq where Teth Adam is given superpowers by a council of gods.  He uses these powers to get revenge on the people who killed his father, so he is imprisoned for 5,000 years, thus turning into Black Adam.  Through some very muddled story telling, Adam is released and reluctantly helps to save his hometown from various evil doers.  Viola Davis is completely wasted as a feeble sort of Nick Fury, but the storyline doesn’t give her much to do, or even explain what she is up to.

Tasked with bringing in Black Adam are the Justice Council, who  seem to be copying (and not in a good way) some of their more superior Marvel counterparts.   The Justice Council consists of Hawkman, Dr. Fate, Atom Smasher, and Cyclone.  Except for Dr. Fate (Pierce Brosnan) none of these heroes are  interesting or even very powerful. It’s over complicated and jumps all over the place.

I guess Black Adam wasn’t a bad film, it does have its moments, and the CGI is impressive.  But if this is the best that DC has to offer, I think I will stick with Marvel.

The King’s Daughter

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What can you say about a truly terrible movie?  Not since I saw Johnny Depp in “Mordecai” have I been so disappointed in a movie as I was in “The King’s Daughter.”  Pierce Brosnan (shame on you!) stars as the most unhistorical Louis XIV in history.  He has the ludicrous idea that if he can catch and kill a mermaid, he will live forever.  For some unexplained reason, he has hidden an illegitimate daughter in a nunnery (even though he had many illegitimate offspring with many mistresses that he proudly took credit for).  While at the nunnery, his daughter, Marie-Josephe, played by a dismally underqualified and uninspiring Kaya Scodelario, is an independent and troublesome charge.  She is eventually brought to court, where it is revealed the King is actually her father.    In another story line, a mermaid from Atlantis (?) is captured in the most ham fisted and unbelievable way (the CGI is amateurish); and put in a super quickly created grotto near the palace.  (In an amazing feat of 17th century construction, the grotto is full of underwater pinnacles, deep fissures and a secret connection to the harbor of Le Havre via the River Seine!)  Louis needs this mermaid so he can have her killed during a solar eclipse, thereby somehow guaranteeing his immortality.  William Hurt (How dare you!  What a sad way to put a stake in the remnants of what used to be a great acting life) plays a priest who supports his king until even he realizes killing a mermaid is just plain wrong.  Many other pointless and uninspiring events occur. So what makes this movie so terrible (if the plot isn’t enough of a clue)?  Well, it is not interesting or entertaining, has no action, a half-hearted romance, and the worst costumes ever!  Most of the supporting characters are poorly developed cartoons who aren’t going to get anyone’s interest. It wasn’t until I was looking up the movie on my phone that I discovered this was actually filmed in 2014 and couldn’t find someone willing to distribute it.  I guess with COVID curtailing filming, even a terrible movie seems like a good investment.  It isn’t.  It is too late for me, but at least you can save yourself and your loved ones by totally ignoring “The King’s Daughter.”

The Foreigner

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Welcome back Jackie Chan!  I sure have missed you and your inventive, choreographed fight scenes. And the return was worth the wait.  Yes, he is older (aren’t we all?) and perhaps not as energetic as he was in movies past, but I loved this new Jackie Chan.    He plays it totally serious in this one, and is surprisingly moving.  Chan plays Quan Minh, a Chinese immigrant living peacefully in England.  But then, his only daughter is killed in an IRA bombing and Chan is out to bring the perpetrators to justice.  The IRA presence is a bit dated, and it’s part as a plot device is a little tenuous, but it at least is a change from the continual mid-East based villainy.  And of course, the greater, hidden, plot sets him to solving the basic question…what are the names of the men who killed his daughter? Apparently, he has a certain set of skills (ala Liam Neesen) and sets out to do what Scotland Yard is failing at.  There is less fighting and humorous action than you may be used to seeing in a Jackie Chan movie, but there is more character development and plot.  Pierce Brosnan  is satisfactory as  a dubious British government official who may have clues to the identities of the killers.  I look forward to seeing this new, older and serious Jackie Chan in future movies!