Adnerb the Movie Nerd

Movie reviews from a middle school teacher's perspective

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore

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Hi everyone!  I think I have turned a corner since breaking my arm.  I just haven’t felt comfortable typing reviews (even though we have seen movies every weekend as usual).  My arms is getting to the point where I have a better range of motion, and typing is not as much of a chore as it was – so here comes my first review since The Batman on March 7!  This is the third Fantastic Beasts movie out of what is supposed to be five.  I was charmed by the first one, didn’t like the second one at all, and thought this one was better, but not great.  When the movies stick with Eddie Redmayne as Newt Scamander, who roams the world looking for fantastic creatures, the movie is enjoyable.  Also, Dan Fogler as the muggle baker Jacob Kowalski is a scene stealer and lights up every scene he is in.  But the rest of the movie is missing something and that is saying a lot when other characters are played by some great actors, namely Jude Law as Albus Dumbledore and Mads Mickkelsen as Gellert Grindelwald.  The plot, involves Grindelwald, who is manipulating people and events to seize control of the wizarding world and ultimately begin a war to destroy all muggles.  There is also a secret Dumbledore child, a cute animal called a quilin (looks like a tiny deer), a bunch of look alike suitcases,  and a new method of traveling by the pages of a book.  This whole Fantastic Beasts franchise doesn’t seem to contain the spark, or whatever you call it, that the original Harry Potter books had in abundance.  Maybe it misses the comradeship and trust of the Hogwarts students and their teachers. Maybe it’s that the plot lines are more murky and even somewhat disconnected and harder to follow. It just lacks that something special that the Potter saga has. Even so, if you liked the first movie, I think you will like this one too.

The Rhythm Section

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I have seen some really good movies in the past few months.  Unfortunately, this was not one of them.  “The RhythmSection” stars Blake Lively as Stephanie Patrick, who has sunk into a life of prostitution and drugs after her whole family is killed in an airplane crash.  After finding out that the crash was actually caused by a bomb, she decides to track down those responsible and kill them.   This makes it even worse, since they changed flights for her, and she didn’t even show up for the flight. The first clue I had that this movie wasn’t Oscar calibre was when I started to doze about 30 minutes in.  I think I was in and out for about 15 minutes and I didn’t miss much.  The first hour was labored, and even boring at times, as it dragged on introducing us to Stephanie and her sleazy life.  She is found by a reporter trying to help her determine who really was responsible for the bombing of her family’s flight.  But he is murdered.  She is able to trace his source and takes several buses to Scotland, where she is able to easily find the source, who is played by Jude Law.  He may or may not be an MI6 agent.  Don’t worry, you’re never going to find out. The second half of the movie picks up as Stephanie poses as a Russian hit-woman, but she isn’t very good.  It’s no wonder, as it looks like Jude spent at least three or four days ‘training’ her.  You are left to wonder what exactly he actually taught her. In fact she only fullfills most of her missions by sheer luck.  There is a lot of action in the second half, but most of it is poorly written and a bit perposterous.  I think I can tell you without spoiling the movie that rhythm section refers to having control of your heart beat and breathing so that you can keep your emotions under control.  I felt left hanging at several points and at times, events didn’t flow naturally into each other.  A lot of things were left unexplained and unexplored. Definitely not worth seeing in a theatre even if you are a fan of Jude Law (which I am) or Blake Lively (which I am not).

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

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I am a big fan of the first Fantastic Beasts movie.  First of all, Eddie Redmayne is delightful as Newt Scamander, the wrangler par excellence of all kinds of unusual and delightful creatures.  The romance between Queenie and Jacob Kowlaski was fresh and just plain cute.  There were a number of interesting subplots and the viewer could actually follow the story line. But I did not enjoy this movie as much as the previous one, and it has to do with the things I love about the first one.  This time around, Newt is not in search of fantastic creatures.  He still has the lovable Bowtruckle with him and the Niffler; and we do see a few visually resplendant creatures, but all too briefly.  Queenie is seen to act in very inexplicable ways; such as putting a love charm on Jacob, who she knew was already in love with her in the first movie!  That whole scene seems forced and unnecessary.  On top of that, Queenie and Jacob have very little to do – they spend alot of time just acting as window dressing.  They are almost lost in the convoluted and rather confusing plot.  Gellert Grindelwald escapes his imprisonment in a rather cliched “bad guy changes places with an apparent good guy” way, and procedes to look for Credence Barbones, who we were introduced to in the first movie.  Grindelwald isn’t the only one searching for him – so is everyone from young Dumbledore (a waste of Jude Law)  to Leta Lestrange to Newt.  Why the interest?  Credence is thought to be a very important person named in an ancient prophecy.  There is a very shocking revelation about Credence at the end of the movie; but it is a murky, disjointed road getting there.  Johnny Depp as Grindelwald is not that menacing. In fact, his performance is sort of bland. The introduction of  Credence’s family tree and how he orginally got to the U.S. makes absolutely no sense.  On the other hand, the visual effects are stupendous.  I especially enjoyed Newt’s ride on a truly fantastic creature, the bucket portkey and any time Jacob Kowalski is on the screen.  I understand that this movie is setting up the next one, but I could have done with a little less set up and a little more heart.  All in all, If you liked the first movie, you will really need to see this one, to be ready for the third  if nothing else.  Let’s just hope that one is a little more interesting!

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

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I have been interested in the Arthurian legend since I was a kid.  The Lady of the Lake, the round table, the doomed love affair, Excalibur and Merlin all make for riveting story telling about Camelot, the place that was special because of the tales people told about it.  Unfortunately, director Guy Ritchie  took all of these beloved elements from my childhood and turned them into a boring, preposterous mess that I refuse to even call a movie.  Do not see this cinematic mistake if you are a fan of King Arthur, as there is almost nothing from the story left intact except the name Uther Pendragon and a few  passing nods to the legend.  Merlin doesn’t even make an appearance!  A lot of silly things happen, but the silliest is a CGI humanoid-octopus thingie that helps Jude Law, Uther’s brother (?) take over the kingdom as long as he feeds it beloved family members.  Huh?  Eric Bana as King Uther, Arthur’s father, facing death at the hands of his brother throws Excalibur up in the air and it comes down and skewers him, and then he turns into the stone that the sword will have to be pulled out of.  What? I could go on  explaining this silliness but I really don’t want to.  My advice, if you see this movie playing at your local cinema, go see Guardians of the Galaxy instead, or hit a local watering hole for an invigorating libation.  Remember life is precious, and this is two and a half hours you’ll regret wasting.  After all, I did that for you!