Adnerb the Movie Nerd

Movie reviews from a middle school teacher's perspective

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

July 21, 2017 By Adnerb Leave a Comment

Apple Rating:

The first 20 minutes of this movie is a breathtaking tour-de-force.  Using minimal dialogue, we learn the origin of the Thousand Planets and are introduced to an intriguing race of Avatar-like creatures who live in a shimmery paradise.  Unfortunately, the rest of the movie is quite a let-down.  Where to begin?  First of all, Dane Dehaan might be a very nice person, but he made a terrible Valerian.  I never once believed that he was a seasoned veteran agent (of what?) of nine years.  He didn’t really have any star appeal, and his performance was pretty bland.  He looks to be about fifteen ( I looked up his age and he is actually 31?!?).  The dialogue he and his partner, played by an equally insipid Cara Delevinge,  were given to speak was dull and uninspired, even when engaging in excruciatingly (un)sexy “banter.”  I was especially disappointed in Clive Owen, as I loved his performance in “City of Men.”  But he wasn’t given much to work with either.  In this role, he was reduced to a stock villain who had a lame reason for his actions.  Apparently the comic this is based on began in 1967, and what may have been innovative then, has been used so often in other pictures and media, it really pales for the modern viewer. On the plus side, the special effects are amazing and the world that Beeson has created was fascinating.  Rihanna’s performance was a welcome surprise.  If you are a fan, though, she wasn’t in the movie enough to be a major draw.  So the bottom line is, should you waste your money to see this movie, or should you wait until it is on HBO?  I would say, save your money and go enjoy “Spiderman” or  better yet “Wonder Woman.”

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Filed Under: Fantasy, Science Fiction Tagged With: Cara Delevinge, Clive Owen, Dane Dehaan, Rihanna

About Adnerb

I'm a middle school teacher and pop-culture lover. I created this blog to give you my take on movies, TV shows, and other things I find interesting.

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