Adnerb the Movie Nerd

Movie reviews from a middle school teacher's perspective

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

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The first 20 minutes of this movie is a breathtaking tour-de-force.  Using minimal dialogue, we learn the origin of the Thousand Planets and are introduced to an intriguing race of Avatar-like creatures who live in a shimmery paradise.  Unfortunately, the rest of the movie is quite a let-down.  Where to begin?  First of all, Dane Dehaan might be a very nice person, but he made a terrible Valerian.  I never once believed that he was a seasoned veteran agent (of what?) of nine years.  He didn’t really have any star appeal, and his performance was pretty bland.  He looks to be about fifteen ( I looked up his age and he is actually 31?!?).  The dialogue he and his partner, played by an equally insipid Cara Delevinge,  were given to speak was dull and uninspired, even when engaging in excruciatingly (un)sexy “banter.”  I was especially disappointed in Clive Owen, as I loved his performance in “City of Men.”  But he wasn’t given much to work with either.  In this role, he was reduced to a stock villain who had a lame reason for his actions.  Apparently the comic this is based on began in 1967, and what may have been innovative then, has been used so often in other pictures and media, it really pales for the modern viewer. On the plus side, the special effects are amazing and the world that Beeson has created was fascinating.  Rihanna’s performance was a welcome surprise.  If you are a fan, though, she wasn’t in the movie enough to be a major draw.  So the bottom line is, should you waste your money to see this movie, or should you wait until it is on HBO?  I would say, save your money and go enjoy “Spiderman” or  better yet “Wonder Woman.”

War For Planet of the Apes

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I went into this movie assuming I wasn’t going to like it.  I grew up with the original movies from the sixties, which featured older technology and unrealistic looking apes; but were naively entertaining.  My idea of a talking ape is the famous Koko, the gentle giant who uses sign language to communicate.  Boy was I wrong!  This is one engrossing movie!  Andy Serkis deserves an academy award, if not for this performance, than for his body of work as a whole.  From “Lord of the Rings” to “King Kong” to the “Planet of the Apes” movies, Andy Serkis and his motion capture acting make these creations seem so real and life-like.  Not only does Andy Serkis give a great performance, but this movie in a not so subtle way touches on issues of slavery, forced labor, civil rights and what constitutes humanity.  This movie definitely won’t be for everyone.  There was too much killing and war effects for my taste, for instance.  The first half of the movie is rather slow, but the second half is definitely worth it and packs an emotional punch.  Also, this not a happy, fun movie.  I would say if you saw the previous two movies, you would definitely want to see it, and won’t be disappointed.

Despicable Me 3

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You have to know this about me before you continue reading this review. I LOVE the Minions.  They are adorable and crack me up.  I guess  you could say these movies are my guilty pleasure.  Going into an animated movie that is made for kids when you are an adult means you have to leave all cynicism behind and just enjoy the silliness.  That being said, I found this latest installment very uneven.  The Minions are not featured in this one as much as they should be and their antics bring much needed comic relief to another wise pretty pedestrian movie.  There is a subplot about unicorns that I felt could have been edited out, but I am sure it will appeal to a lot of young girls.  I didn’t enjoy seeing Steve Carell’s Dru going “nice” so to speak.  Part of his charm is that he is, well, despicable.  Trey Parker voices the villain of the movie, Balthazar Bratt, who is truly annoying, but does  listen to an enjoyable array of retro music.  If you like the Minions, or have kids who do, I would still go see this movie.  Despite its faults, it does have Minions and that makes the whole movie worth it in my opinion.

Spider-Man Homecoming

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I was skeptical about seeing yet another reboot of a classic comic book character.  I mean, we all know he gets bitten by a spider and fights crime; what more is there to tell, right?  Well was I pleasantly surprised!!  This new Spider-man is highly entertaining and extremely funny.  In fact, I laughed more during this movie than I have at so called comedies like Baywatch!  ( Chris Evans’ Captain America shows up in several hilarious PSAs).   Tom Holland makes the perfect awkward teenage super hero, trying desperately to be an Avenger but not quite measuring up.  Robert Downey Jr. appears through out and even makes an appearance as Iron Man.  What I appreciated about Michael Keaton is he did not camp it up as the Vulture.   In fact, his portrayal was one of the most believable villains that I have seen in these kind of movies.  There is not as much action as in other Spider-man movies but that is a good thing.   Characters and plot drive the story rather than CGI effects.  Don’t get me wrong, the special effects are impressive, but do not take front and center.  I also loved Jennifer Connolly’s unseen role as Karen, the artificial intelligence who helps Spider-Man navigate the intricacies of his new high-tech suit.  If you go see ‘Spider-Man Homecoming’, and I think you should, stay to the very end of the credits-the very end.  Your patience will be rewarded.

The Book of Henry

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Do not listen to any other reviews for this movie, just this one of course.  ‘The Book of Henry’ has gotten some bad reviews, but they are not deserved.  I think this is one time where being a teacher comes in handy because the way the story plays out definitely had me rooting for the whole thing to work out well.  This is the story of a boy named Henry (played convincingly by Jaeden Carpenter) who is super-smart.  He is in a regular school rather than one for exceptional students so that he can socialize and interact with people.  He protects his little brother. And his intellectual capacity is very wide. In fact, he even runs the family finances, and has invested  his mother’s (played by Naomi Watts) waitress salary so that she has enough money in the bank to never have to work (even if she doesn’t want to think about it). Henry discovers that the sweet little girl next door, Christina, is being molested by her step-father.  Henry tries everything he can think of to get help for her and even tells the principal and calls protective services.  None of his ideas work, mainly because the poor girl’s step father is the police commissioner  and he is just a kid.  As a last resort, Henry comes up with an elaborate, and apparently fool-proof solution — Christina’s stepfather must be killed!  The problem is, despite being a genius, he is still a kid and can’t get a gun.  But then, a medical condition brings about a big change, and his mom is going to have to get involved. What will they do? (no SPOILERS!)  How the whole thing plays out is very far-fetched, yet I found the ending satisfying.  If you go, bring Kleenex; this is definitely NOT a lighthearted movie.  Teachers out there will be particularly interested in seeing how the school handles this problem.  Could they have done better?  What would you have done?   A movie that demands you think about hard issues, is a movie worth seeing.