Adnerb the Movie Nerd

Movie reviews from a middle school teacher's perspective

Gretel and Hansel

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Well, this “Hansel and Gretel” fit a perfect storm of what we didn’t want to see today. There were no movies playing we hadn’t seen (Parasite is the only Oscar movie I wanted to see that I never got to), and this at least started at a convenient time.  So we thought, “Why not?”  Sorry to say it, but this movie was terrible. The story follows the titular siblings leaving their shabby existence and embarking on an excrutiatingly slow walk through a forest (what, no bread crumbs?). Where are they headed? What is their goal?  An interjected and otherwise meaningless character sets them on their path. Eventually they come upon a plain looking cottage (not made of gingerbread, cake or candy even).  Apparently the cottage is owned by a weird witch who has evil intentions.  Odd, disjointed occurences and dreams happen, mysteries unexplained and never fully resolved, and nothing seems connected. Hansel leaves, Gretel stays.  The patron is left holding the bag. That is the movie in a nutshell.  Nothing much happens, it isn’t creepy, scary or even particularly gruesome. I would do yourself a favor and reread the Grimm fairy tale that it is loosly based on.

The Rhythm Section

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I have seen some really good movies in the past few months.  Unfortunately, this was not one of them.  “The RhythmSection” stars Blake Lively as Stephanie Patrick, who has sunk into a life of prostitution and drugs after her whole family is killed in an airplane crash.  After finding out that the crash was actually caused by a bomb, she decides to track down those responsible and kill them.   This makes it even worse, since they changed flights for her, and she didn’t even show up for the flight. The first clue I had that this movie wasn’t Oscar calibre was when I started to doze about 30 minutes in.  I think I was in and out for about 15 minutes and I didn’t miss much.  The first hour was labored, and even boring at times, as it dragged on introducing us to Stephanie and her sleazy life.  She is found by a reporter trying to help her determine who really was responsible for the bombing of her family’s flight.  But he is murdered.  She is able to trace his source and takes several buses to Scotland, where she is able to easily find the source, who is played by Jude Law.  He may or may not be an MI6 agent.  Don’t worry, you’re never going to find out. The second half of the movie picks up as Stephanie poses as a Russian hit-woman, but she isn’t very good.  It’s no wonder, as it looks like Jude spent at least three or four days ‘training’ her.  You are left to wonder what exactly he actually taught her. In fact she only fullfills most of her missions by sheer luck.  There is a lot of action in the second half, but most of it is poorly written and a bit perposterous.  I think I can tell you without spoiling the movie that rhythm section refers to having control of your heart beat and breathing so that you can keep your emotions under control.  I felt left hanging at several points and at times, events didn’t flow naturally into each other.  A lot of things were left unexplained and unexplored. Definitely not worth seeing in a theatre even if you are a fan of Jude Law (which I am) or Blake Lively (which I am not).

The Gentlemen

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I have been a semi-fan of Hugh Grant for several years.  He plays doofy and kind of smarmy characters (but with a hidden side of decency and heart that eventually comes out) better than just about anyone.  So what a pleasant surprise to discover a deliciously evil Hugh Grant in Guy Ritchie’s newest movie, “The Gentlemen.”  The story follows American Mickey Pearson (Matthew McConaughey), who has built a profitable marijuana empire in London. Word gets out that he is looking to sell his business and retire.  This piece of news sets off a whole series of events that include extortion, schemes and betrayals, sundry illegalities and even murder as various lowlifes compete to take his empire.  In the middle of it all is a seedy, almost unrecogizable Hugh Grant playing Fletcher,a sleazy private eye who also narrates the story.  Guy Ritchie also employees a cast of characters well played by Charlie Hunnam, Michelle Dockery, Colin Farrell and Jeremy Strong.  There is action galore and several twists and turns keep things interesting.  At one point, a giant pig plays a key, if somewhat disgusting role.  I liked this movie more than I thought it would and it is the kind of mindless, but enthusiastic, entertainment that I like to watch before the Oscar results come out.

JoJo Rabbit

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I absolutely loved this movie, but have to admit is very quirky and will not be everyone’s cup of tea.  The story follows ten year old JoJo “Rabbit” Betzler (a fine acting debut by Roman Griffin Davis) as an ultra wannabe Hitler Youth living in mythical Falkenheim, Germany approaching the end of WWII.  Jojo seems kind of lonely, his mother is frequently out and his soldier father has been missing for almost two years.  Jojo despretely wants to become a Hitler Youth and is aided in this undertaking by his imaginary friend – Adolf Hitler himself – played with buffoonish gusto by the writer and director Taika Waititi.  But his efforts fall seriously short and he is relegated to simple tasks under the mentorship of Captain Klenzendorf (Sam Rockwell) and his erstwhile assistants played by Alfie Allen and Rebel Wilson.  Jojo carries on as things start to fall apart, and his dogmatic beliefs are shattered when he meets and eventually befriends a Jewish girl that his mother is hiding.  The movie is full of satire, both serious and humorous.  I loved the ridiculous Nazis characters played by Sam Rockwell and Rebel Wilson as well as the scenes of the absurdity and devestation of war.  Waititi has concocted a mix of the serious historical realities with absurdist comic flights of fancy.  We could take a few lessons from how Jojo’s fanatical belief in everything he has been told, including that Jews have horns and live in caves like bats, are punctured and exploded like a holiday balloon.  I found this movie a little reminiscent of “Moonlight Kingdom,” which I also loved.  Do not be fooled by the humorous undertones of this movie, it is a serious topic and doesn’t gloss over some realities of what happened in German towns (the things depicted did happen, and often) as Hitler’s empire was taken apart.  You may even tear up a time or two.  This is definitely a well-deserving award contender.  See you at the Oscars, JoJo!

1917

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My grandfather enlisted in the Army by lying about his age and was sent to France during WWI.  I never knew this before he died, and don’t know if he ever talked about his experiences.  A relative told me that his company returned with only 14 men walking, my grandfather included.  I feel this movie gave me an accurate picture of what he may have gone through.  This was the most realistic and harrowing picture about WWl I have ever seen.  If you do not enjoy seeing rats eating dead bodies or someone accidently putting their hand through a rotting corpse, you will want to cover your eyes, but don’t let this keep you away from the theater. General Sherman once said “all war is hell,” and the Western Front in the First World War was more hell than most.  But the depiction of the conditions in such an unvarnished way is part of the point – to try to give an idea of what conditions were like, and for many long months. The plot is simple enough, two soldiers Blake (Dean-Charles Chapman) and Schofield (George MacKay) are given a seemingly impossible mission: The Germans have laid a trap and unless the pair can deliver a warning in time, 1,600 men will die, including Blake’s brother. The movie is the story of their incredible and determined journey. It’s not so much about battles and glory; but about willingness to persevere to do what is needed to complete the journey, and the nature of individual courage and comradeship. The cinematography is breath-taking, some of the scenes were shot in one continous roll of the camera making you feel like you, too, were walking with these two intrepid soldiers.  There are appearances by famous names like Colin Firth and Benedict Cumberbatch, but their screen time combined is less than five minutes.  Not to worry, Chapman and MacKay haven enough acting chops to carry this movie.  The action is non-stop, really there is never a dull moment.  I highly recommend this movie and wouldn’t be surprised if it won an Oscar or two next month.