Adnerb the Movie Nerd

Movie reviews from a middle school teacher's perspective

Aquaman

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Aquaman is exactly what you expected it to be.  There is a lot of Jason Mimosa’s bare chest, tons of CGI and dazzling scenery, ludicrious dialogue and a million plot holes.  It is hard to take Aquaman seriously though, and I think if the makers of the movie had been more tongue-in-cheek like Guardians of the Galaxy or even Ant Man, I would have enjoyed this movie better.  I mean, I didn’t hate it, and I can think of worse ways to spend an afternoon.  Thanks to my friend, Kristin, I got to see this movie for free, so the price was deifnitely right.  Everyone is the movie seems to be trying their best, but it was all a bit too silly for me.  I know I am being picky but how can creatures who rarely, if ever, come to the surface know how to speak AND read English?  And it takes a whole mountain of suspension of belief for me to buy that somone has invented a way to turn water instantly into a deadly plamsa that can be fired like a bazooka. And how do thousands and thousands of ocean critters, much less five different tribes of subsurface denizens with huge cities, palaces and technological wonders really escape any notice from the surface dwellers?  I am sure even the kids who were in the audience could predict several key events, including the ending.   On top of everything else, this movie was almost 2 1/2 hours long!  In the middle I found myself getting drowsy and dreaming of having sushi for dinner.  Despite all of these shortcomings, I was oddly entertained by this movie.  I wouldn’t want to see it again, wouldn’t want to own the DVD and I am certainly glad I didn’t have to pay to get in.  I don’t want to stop you from going, and if you consider this movie as super hero eye candy lite, you will probably have a good  time.  A few people at our showing enjoyed it enough to clap, so it can’t be that bad, can it?

The Grinch

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I think the following exchange sums up my feelings about this movie.  There was a mom and her son (he looked to be around 4) sitting next to us in the theatre.  About halfway into the movie the boy turns to his mom and says. “I don’t like this movie, can we go home now?”  Hey kid – I’m with you!  I wasn’t going to see this movie at all, but I thought with Benedict Cumberbatch voicing the Grinch, maybe he would be up to the task, or at least add one reliably interesting element.  I was wrong.  You might remember how Jay Ward and the Warner Brothers deftly crafted their comedy cartoons so there were elements that appealed to the adult, some that appealed to the kid, and some that covered all the bases. This writer and his team definitely weren’t able to do this.  That being said,  if you are a kid between the age of 5-10, you might find this a somewhat enjoyable holiday entry.  I must say that except for a scene of the Grinch shopping in town (his interactions with the townspeople are WAY off Suess’ script), he never seemed very mean or even that scary. He’s bland, homogenized into a pale imitation of the original. The otherwise pointless inclusion of a cliched giant moose character probably helped them expand it from the television half hour to a movie length story.  The new music is pedestrian, not very catchy; but the worst is the reimagined Cindy Lou Who who is now an incredibly spunky hockey playing girl with an equally incredibly saintly single mother.   This one should have Dr. Suess rising from the grave faster than Jacob Marley’s ghost!  If I had a child or grandchild who was in the right age range for this movie, I still wouldn’t take them to see it.  Instead, we would microwave some popcorn, snuggle under a nice warm blanket, and watch the original made for televsion version.  Boris Karloff – you are missed!!

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

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I am a big fan of the first Fantastic Beasts movie.  First of all, Eddie Redmayne is delightful as Newt Scamander, the wrangler par excellence of all kinds of unusual and delightful creatures.  The romance between Queenie and Jacob Kowlaski was fresh and just plain cute.  There were a number of interesting subplots and the viewer could actually follow the story line. But I did not enjoy this movie as much as the previous one, and it has to do with the things I love about the first one.  This time around, Newt is not in search of fantastic creatures.  He still has the lovable Bowtruckle with him and the Niffler; and we do see a few visually resplendant creatures, but all too briefly.  Queenie is seen to act in very inexplicable ways; such as putting a love charm on Jacob, who she knew was already in love with her in the first movie!  That whole scene seems forced and unnecessary.  On top of that, Queenie and Jacob have very little to do – they spend alot of time just acting as window dressing.  They are almost lost in the convoluted and rather confusing plot.  Gellert Grindelwald escapes his imprisonment in a rather cliched “bad guy changes places with an apparent good guy” way, and procedes to look for Credence Barbones, who we were introduced to in the first movie.  Grindelwald isn’t the only one searching for him – so is everyone from young Dumbledore (a waste of Jude Law)  to Leta Lestrange to Newt.  Why the interest?  Credence is thought to be a very important person named in an ancient prophecy.  There is a very shocking revelation about Credence at the end of the movie; but it is a murky, disjointed road getting there.  Johnny Depp as Grindelwald is not that menacing. In fact, his performance is sort of bland. The introduction of  Credence’s family tree and how he orginally got to the U.S. makes absolutely no sense.  On the other hand, the visual effects are stupendous.  I especially enjoyed Newt’s ride on a truly fantastic creature, the bucket portkey and any time Jacob Kowalski is on the screen.  I understand that this movie is setting up the next one, but I could have done with a little less set up and a little more heart.  All in all, If you liked the first movie, you will really need to see this one, to be ready for the third  if nothing else.  Let’s just hope that one is a little more interesting!

The House With a Clock in Its Walls

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I liked this movie.   This is a good one for adults to bring older children to.  The younger ones will find it spooky, and both adults and kids will find plenty to chuckle at.  The story centers on nerdish orphan Lewis Barnavelt (Owenn Vaccarro), who comes to live with his very eccentric Uncle Jonathan, played by Jack Black, and his uncle’s mysterious friend, Miss Zimmerman, played by Cate Blanchett.  They live in a deliciously creepy house full of furniture that moves, intriguing objects and secret rooms.  It turns out there is a mysterious clock hidden somewhere in the house, ticking away and counting down, which will cause the destruction of the human race if not found and stopped! Barnavelt discovers his uncle is a warlock and eventually talks him into letting him become an apprentice.  He hopes sorcery and magic will help him win friends. It doesn’t, but he unwittingly brings about impending doom by resurrecting a great evil.  However, his magical assistance to his uncle and his friend helps them face that evil. I loved the word play between Blanchett and Black, who clearly are having a good time making this movie.  Do not go if you are looking for true horror or a great script.  Do go if you want to watch an ambiable family friendly movie that has fun with the John Bellairs 1973 novel.

Ant-Man and The Wasp

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“InfinityWar” was such an intense entry in the Marvel catalogue that I found Ant-Man and the Wasp a refreshing change.  Don’t get me wrong, this movie has everything you expect  to find in a Marvel movie; such as nonstop acton, interesting villians, back stories and special effects. This movie, however, felt a little smaller and more intimate and I loved that!  The script is very witty and Paul Rudd knows how to deliver the laughs.  Also, there is some true chemistry between his character and Evangeline Lily as The Wasp.  Walter Goggins is excellent as the very human villian, and Hannah John-Kamen is the mysterious “Ghost,” both of them wanting to steal the secrets of the quantum realm but for different reasons.  Michael Douglas is back as Hank Pym, who wants to journey into that quantum realm, where it is just possible his wife (Michelle Pfieffer) who disappeared 30 years ago may still be alive. Don’t worry too much about the plot, the real treat in this movie is the clever special effects. Various peoople (and cars) grow and shrink making for hilarious circumstances.  I know I don’t have to tell you this, but stay until the end of the credits; there are actually two scenes, one in the middle of the credits and one at the end.  Both of them will give you a little hint as to what will be happening in the next Avenger movie.  If you are looking for a super hero movie with a sweet romance, witty dialogue and a gigantic Hello Kitty Pez dispenser, this is the movie for you!